This Valentine’s Day, I will celebrate this day for the 22nd year with my love, my husband, & my best friend. I love Valentine’s Day, especially as a Momma. We all like having a reason to decorate with pink and red and hearts and focus on LOVE. The best thing is that our family’s intention is to focus on love DAILY. We are not perfect at doing this, but it is our family’s natural state of being. A foundation of LOVE that we always return to.
My vision of LOVE has changed over the years. I learned about unconditional love first in my marriage, then when I became a parent and later in my early 30’s, I learned about unconditional SELF LOVE. My idea of love now, is definitely different than when I first fell in love at the age of 20. When my husband and I first met I needed constant reminders that I was loved in order to feel fulfilled and also to trust that we were ok. These little actions at that time when I was 20 years old, were really the only way that I could truly “trust” that someone loved me. I didn’t even know which actions “meant” someone loved me except for the ones I had grown up and learned, heard or observed.
Was he going to grab my hand at the movies? Was he going to open my door for me? How was he going to prove his love to me that day? Would it be a Hallmark card? What did my dream of love look like? How would I know? How would I recognize it? Would it be ok if it looked different than on TV or how I grew up?
One of our first Valentine’s Days together, when I had a boyfriend (my now husband) I really fell in love with, everyone would ask me: What are you guys doing for Valentine’s Day? What DID you do for Valentine’s Day? What did HE get you? Wow, such a pressure to perform. And I thought to myself, if he didn’t do something amazing or anything at all, then maybe he didn’t love me? Maybe I wasn’t special?
Well, I happened to meet the love of my life in Peoria, IL, where we were going to college and as fate would have it I was destined to meet a guy on campus who was not actually raised in the United States. He had only lived here for 4 years or so before we met. He had no clue what Valentine’s Day really was (or the movie Grease, I will save that for another day, LOL) So, I had some work to do here.
Maybe I would have to change my mind about love or change my beliefs about what love looked and felt like. What I thought I knew about love or what love was, and what I learned from outside of myself and from others, maybe this information was not true for me/us? It took us many years to create a love that worked for us and came from within, rather than comparing or thinking it should be different. It was not easy, and took a ton of work, evolution on both our parts and commitment. It is so worth it to define love on your own terms and figure out what feels best to you and your partner. To experience unconditional love and to be your fullest, truest, most authentic self on good and bad days is a miracle and a blessing. It is completely possible if you are ready and willing to do the work.
(Wait as I am writing this, my everyday Valentine just brought me a peeled orange ready to eat slices in a pink bowl and I am upstairs….this is what it feels like to have a Valentine all year round.)
I know my vision of LOVE has certainly changed over the years. It took me some time to recognize love because it appeared different than I expected, thought or learned. In the movies and on TV, we are taught to believe how love might look. The media and shopping industries want us to “show” our love on this specific day in February. We still do something fun for Valentine’s Day and make cards for each other. Our girls love to create Valentine’s with their own art work and stickers. Over the years, I noticed that it was much more special to appreciate and understand the daily love I receive rather than on one specific day. I had to Change My Mind about what love was supposed to be.
Here are just some of the ways that my year long Valentine/hubby has shown and continues to show his love:
- He helps me with my work, from doing graphics, building my website, creating my logo, and always supporting my dreams (We have always been business partners)
- He makes coffee for me every single morning and brings it to me wherever I am in the house
- He often drives me and our girls around to do errands I could do alone and waits in the car (the invention of the iPhone has created so much patience)
- When we had babies, he was in charge of helping me prepare my iPod with my hospital version of Having a Baby Playlist
- He changed most of the diapers for our girls for years since I was the one nursing
- He is there for us all the time and makes us laugh
- On a random day last month, he staged this toy rose outside the bathroom door, so before bed, as I opened the door there was a rose with his iPhone flashlight shining upon it
- He almost always goes grocery shopping with us & always helps me empty the car & put away the groceries
- I cook, and he helps, and also does the dishes
- He will come up to me and say, “Have you hugged me today yet?” (yes after 21 years)
- Kissing all of us goodnight every single night with hugs, kisses, snuggling and laughter
- Carrying the laundry up and down the stairs without ever complaining
- Going bike riding & playing at the park with us
- Letting me pack and telling me I didn’t take too much
- Honoring my feelings and emotions without judging me; allowing me to be me
- Always complimenting me, telling me I look beautiful
- Learning with me how to safely and loving resolve conflict so we can honor what we have worked so hard to build for our relationship
- Being kind everyday, and taking care of his energy (meditating & more) so he is aligned for himself and for our family and the world
I could go on and on because after living this way for 2 decades, a day in February expecting him to show me love is very similar to everyday of our lives. Our love is very mutual. He is this way with me and I am this way with him. Of course flowers, chocolates, jewelry, gestures, & gifts are amazing, I just feel that those are all nice if they are in addition to a Valentine’s Day Lifestyle. Not in place of one.
Being a Momma to 2 beautiful daughters, what is my dream for them? How will we model to them what love may look like? How good can it be? Our girls are growing up seeing LOVE modeled daily instead of once a year. They see how much Daddy loves me and how he treats women and how he shows up in the world. They are learning how to recover when emotions get the best of us and how we reconnect and re-align our energy. This is how they will know to recognize love. It does not matter as much what we teach them, it matters what they see and feel and observe.
So here are 3 Secrets to Manifesting a Valentine’s Day lifestyle:
- Make a Decision: Connect with yourself and review what your definition of love is. Decide how YOU want to feel rather than listen to how others say LOVE should feel. Learn to recognize acts of love that differ from what we learn through the media or how our families or friends believe love should look. Understand that true love can show up in many different forms. Know that love adds to your well-being. It feels good. It honors your spirit and touches your soul. Love feels safe and respectful and is kind. One of my favorite quotes is by an amazing spiritual teacher, leader and mentor, Dr. Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Decide to change the way you define love and create your own version that feels best to YOU! We can change our story & our beliefs of what love means to US.
- Raise Your Vibration and Be Mindful Of Your Own Energy: It is important that you take care of yourself and be sure that you are ready to attract & receive love by being the love you wish to receive. Be kind to yourself, be loving out in the world, & be mindful of your thoughts of love. You will notice love more often as you do this, because that is what you are focused on. Do things that feel good to you and connect with yourself so you can show up as a whole person/partner to your love that is here or on it’s way to you. Here is a wonderful article on SELF LOVE by one of my favorite authors, Louise Hay: 12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now
- Be in a state of Gratitude and Appreciation: The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on expands. We are like magnets. So if you spend time everyday focusing on things you are grateful for and happy about and appreciative of, you will by law receive more to be grateful, happy, and to appreciate.
So go ahead…REDEFINE LOVE and UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS so you can learn, grow and be happy in life and make everyday, Valentine’s Day…
“I choose to see this differently. I choose to see this with LOVE.”
Learn more about Prana Boosting!™ Sending love and light to everyone on this beautiful day!
Wishing you health, happiness, peace, joy, abundance, prosperity and LOVE♥ on this day and always!
With love, appreciation, & gratitude,