I know, I agree, it’s easier said than done. What we focus on expands, blah blah blah. It’s so much easier to repeat the quote, and wish for us all to have the courage to live our authentic truth and to show up in the world as peaceful, loving human beings.
The Universe gave me a wonderful gift this past Friday night. I had the pleasure of “practicing what I preach.” I am the founder of Prana Boost & the creator of Prana Boost CPR™. I was gifted yet another opportunity to help out when visiting my local Barnes & Noble with my family.
After dinner, I asked everyone, “Who wants to go to Barnes & Noble?” Everyone said, “I do.”
So there we were in the Children’s Section. Alan, me, Bella, & Gabi all collected books we were interested in reading while hanging out on a Friday night. I know someone who works at this store in this department and we started talking, not loudly, but just visiting briefly while putting some books back on the shelves.
A woman, who I noticed, was sitting behind where we were talking (not loudly, but not whispering) and reading. I noticed she had no young kids, but was sitting quietly reading near the kid’s play stage.
Suddenly we heard her speak up. She asked us to stop talking, as it was disturbing her reading.
My friend, who works there, answered as she is trained to, “It’s not a library.”
Now, this could have been a quiet, or easy interaction, however, this response triggered an outrage in the woman who was asking for quiet. Of course, it was open to interpretation, though, she was right, it’s not a library. It’s a store and better yet, this was the children’s section, so there was already noise from other parents, kids, & babies. Not the best section to sit in if you are in fact wanting to relax or even try to manifest peace & quiet.
This woman started to freak out. Yes, literally freak out. She was so enraged at the response by this employee. She started to yell from her seat. She couldn’t believe how she was spoken to, she was yelling at the top of her lungs to prove a point that noise was in fact disturbing to others. She got up and started to walk around the entire children’s area and yell about this injustice. Yell about how unfair she was being treated. Yell about how it was rude and unacceptable. Yell about how would everyone else feel if they were trying to read and someone was disturbing them. She yelled and asked if someone was going to call the police on her. She said she is nice and decent and had no prior police incidents. ?!?
My first instinct was to run and take cover, leave the store as fast as we could. As she started to come closer to our table, and she stood right behind our girls, I walked up to her. I knew in that moment that I could react with FEAR or LOVE. In the wake of the news about Paris and Beirut, etc. from THIS SAME DAY, I knew that I needed to meet this grown woman’s anger and rage with love. AGAIN, EASIER SAID THAN DONE. I was upset that she was so close to our family. I was upset and nervous about what might happen next. I was upset that everyone was staring and so uncomfortable. I was surprised and honestly thought, wow it’s so rare to see someone really show their emotions so fully in public with no regard for anyone around. I thought, she must be in a lot of pain. She must really need someone to reach out. She was not being rude, she had lost her ability to keep quiet. She had lost her awareness and didn’t even notice the other kids and parents and babies around her.
My stomach had a million butterflies. Was this really happening? In the kid’s department nonetheless?
I had to use my intuition (yes, Mom, I know it might not always be safe to approach an irate human) and decide if I should in fact approach her or grab my family & run for the hills and send her some Angels from a distance.
As I stood right next to her, I asked her if I could help. I told her that she had a right to feel the way she felt, but that now she was scaring everyone. She was scaring my kids, and me and everyone who was either leaving now or taking steps to back away from this woman. She was making it much worse. I promised her that I would listen to her and be with her during her pain. I asked her to look around and notice that yelling was perhaps not the best way to handle this situation. I told her, “I understand, I hear you (everyone could hear her), I see you.” She saw employees scurrying around trying to figure out how to handle her. She was having what some might call an ADULT tantrum.
I asked her about her, about her day. She told me that she was a regular at this store and even the manager knew her. She pointed over to her grown son sitting on the floor and said they always come here. Her son was 23 (she later told me) and non-verbal. He is Autistic & very sick. They were just out on a Friday night and need somewhere to hang out.
I told her my name, I asked her what her name was.
She told me. I said to her, “Listen, I understand that you are upset with the answer that you received when you just wanted to nicely read your book in quiet. I said I understand that you are not happy with the reaction you got. You were offended and disappointed with someone else’s behavior. Then I said, while this may have felt uncomfortable, can you see that YOU are now creating discomfort for a large group of people. Which was exactly what YOU “DIDN’T” want? I told her that I understood that she felt hurt, but hurting and scaring everyone else was not the best way to prove her point. It was not the way to handle these emotions.
Then, she looked me in the eye and said that she knew we are all scared and freaking out about her “color.” We were all racists and she was now being mistreated because she was African American.
I took her hand in mine and said, “NO, you are human just like every single one of us, you are not scaring anyone because of your skin color, you are scaring everyone because you are YELLING IN A CHILDREN’S DEPARTMENT AT A BOOKSTORE.” Nothing else to it. No one was judging her son, or her, or her looks, they were just uncomfortable because she was Yelling & Freaking out.
I said, “Let me help you, as I held my hand over my heart. Take your hand and put it close to your heart. You felt hurt so you started showing everyone your pain.”
I stood there with my Ahimsa (nonviolence) necklace on and a Disney shirt that said, LOVE. I thought, if not you now, Tina, then who and when? You must stay focused and help her and all of us.
She said, “I am a good person with a good heart and a very hard life. I am actually a doctor. I just didn’t understand why she said, this is not a library. Couldn’t she see me reading and concentrating. Wouldn’t it just be a natural courtesy to be quiet when you see someone reading?”
So I said, “Then you understand that this is a choice, you chose to react and get upset and you are now choosing to yell to prove your point. If you didn’t like how she reacted, you could have chosen another way to share that with her rather than making a scene and bringing everyone else into it and choosing to react without love. But it’s ok. We understand, we have all been there. We have all been triggered and have had hard days where we have lost it. WE get it.”
I repeated, “I hear you. And you know this may not be the best way to share your feelings. You were yelling so loudly that you didn’t hear the employee say she was sorry, she didn’t mean it in a bad way, she didn’t mean to insult you or hurt you.”
She then got quiet, “Oh, she did?”
Me: “Yes, she did.”
I reached into my purse and handed her a rose quartz crystal. I said this crystal stone represents self love, Universal love and it is my gift to you. She held it tight and thanked me. Apologized again and again.
I hugged her and she took her things and left and walked away.
I felt the call to help her align her energy to help her calm down to meet her rage with love and to help comfort her and her heart and her son.
I could’ve easily called her names, judged her, ran from her yelling and been offended by her behavior. But on this day when so much had happened from reacting with fear and hate in the world, I needed to send out LOVE. It was all I could do to help our world.
I walked over to my girls and my husband and my oldest daughter 11 1/2 years old said to me, “Wow Mom, there you go publicly proving again that Prana Boost CPR™ is needed and WORKS!”
I WAS in fact being the change I wish to see in the world.
Then my friend who works there, came up to me and asked if I was ok from talking to this angry woman. I said I was and began describing our interaction, when out of the corner of my eye this woman and her son reappeared.
I looked at her and said to them both, “Let’s choose to see this differently. They both began to speak each with an apology for how they reacted and interacted. They both HUGGED. Yes, hugged.
This woman looked at me and said, “You know this happened for a reason. There is a bigger meaning.”
I almost started crying. I had so many emotions, but just stood there in awe thinking of all the ways this could have ended.
I knew that I helped and I was so happy because I thought of everyone at the store, or outside or on the road and thought of the impact of this getting resolved right then and there rather than letting anyone walk out angry and scared.
Sometimes we have to help each other. Sometimes we will feel offended, hurt or insulted. In the end it’s always our CHOICE how we react and respond to others. How we handle and manage our emotions and pain is our responsibility.
I would love to hear some of the ways you are BEING THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD ~GANDHI. Please be sure to comment or reach out and let us know.
“I choose to see this differently. I choose to see this with LOVE.”
|Sending love and light to everyone on this beautiful day!
Wishing you health, happiness, peace, joy, abundance, prosperity and LOVE♥ on this day and always!
With love, appreciation, & gratitude,